On Friendship
To be a friend to someone… carries a great significance to me. It encompasses a certain
responsibility to that person. To be supportive when they are in need, to give what ever is
in ones means to give, and perhaps most importantly, never take advantage of that person
or disrespect them. To share what I have, knowledge, opportunities, acquaintances, if that
is something that would be of interest or helpful. To be thoughtful, caring, and a good
listener. I have been this kind of “friend” to those whom I chose to call a friend. It seems
like such a simple thing. Yet I have been shown, that this kind of unconditional openness
is valued very little, and in some cases it is a sign of weakness on my part, that is taken
advantage of and nothing more.
In fact, I came to realize over the years that Friendship is somewhat of a lost concept in
America. I would not say it is lost all together, but just as the days of business deals being
cemented with a handshake, the innocence of true friendship is very rare. So much so
that I did not know myself what I was missing until I traveled to Russia and encountered
how my husband related to his friends, and saw how truly caring they were. I was
impressed by the extent to which they would go out of their way to be helpful or how
they knew they could just count on each other. I was touched by their sharing of what
was rare or special to them, and how they looked out for each other. I found myself
comparing what I had witnessed in my husbands company, to my own acquaintances. I
realized I did not have this kind of closeness or experience… it made me truly sad.
Perhaps innocent is exactly the heart of the matter. People in America have become
accustomed to insult and injury; they expect it, are ready to defend against it, they fear
too much, worry too much, to the point that they have become entirely self centered.
Everyone is focused on their survival… And on their Success, because our culture has put
this ideal first and above all others: climb to the top, use anyone you have to on the way,
and it is all expected and even respected. Promises and agreements mean nothing, but are
used as a means of currency to get what one wants. If they can’t carry out what they
agreed to do, or choose not to, it is not shameful for them to just let it slide, and can even
behave as if insulted when called on their lack of accountability.
I realize that am an idealist. I put my trust in people, because I believe in them.
I have tried over my lifetime to develop friendships and find that I often fail. I fail
because I loose faith. I feel the relationship is one sided, or that I am being taken for
granted, or that I have been wronged in some way. And yes, I know that any time
someone has expectations as I have, they are just setting themselves up for
disappointment. But nevertheless, people do have expectations, we do have desires, we
all want to know that someone cares, that there is somebody who has your back, who will
be faithful in that special way that the bond of friendship implies. Yet time and again I
have come to see that it is not so.
Each time a situation like this slaps me in the face, I could, as many people do, become
bitter and choose never to trust again. Never to give myself so completely, never to be so
open hearted. But then, what is the point of living. If one gives up hope that the world
Can Be that ideal place… I wish it to be. I am unwilling to accept that it is a futile exercise
to look for true friendship. To expect that someone will value an honest and
open exchange of the gifts of our existence with mutual respect and caring… what a
strange world we have created, that this simple wish is such a foreign concept.
It is not noble of me to expect that I deserve it, nor is it savage to have such a desire.
I can only hope that life gives me, with grace, the chance to keep such company.

Make a copy of your image in reverse, otherwise your finished product will be backwards. Place you photocopies, or computer copies on a non stick surface such as a piece of plexi glass. Tape it with a masking tape, I prefer the blue kind, it causes less damage to the image when you pull it. I prefer the Golden gel Medium because it is thicker and you need to apply let coats to the image. But any Gel medium will work.
After taping all the prints down then you begin to apply the gel. use a house painting brush with a thick nylon brissel. This leave a little tooth for the next layer to adhere to. Let the layer dry completely, depending on the thickness of the gel the wait time will be different. Then apply the next coat in a different direction, up-down, left-right, bottom left corner to upper right corner, upper right to bottom left. Each application should take a different direction, be sure to take the gel to the edge of the image or you will have thin edges that break. Be careful not to go outside side of your tape or you will have trouble pulling it up.
Applying the gel to the image surface. After you have applied enough layers your image will develop a thick skin. For the Golden thick gel medium this will be one application in each direction. At this point you let it dry over night. The next day remove the tape from each image and trim the edges of the paper off.
next you prepare a bath of warm water and place the skin into the water for a few minutes until you see the paper on the back is wet.
Next you scrub off the paper form the original photo copy or computer image, the ink is now embedded into the gel and the side where the paper was will be a matte surface. This is your working surface so all the paper must be scrubbed off. You will see when it is not off it leaves a white mark. some of the paper will peal off, but some must be scrubbed with a brush or abrasive sponge. Keep your surface wet. You will get a feeling for how much and how hard you can scrub. the skin will stretch a little, if it stretches too much and does not regain its shape, or if it breaks, then this indicates that you did not build the layer thick enough or let it dry completely.
AngelicaTas
All her work contains a grace and sensitivity. I love her nudes
I am very fond of her photo manipulations, really very lovely.